kc bugayong

Nothing Lasts Forever

It's true,nothing lasts forever.Friendships crumble (just like cookies),relationships fail, things getting out of hand.But i think what matters is how we rise up after the fall.

I have fallen a lot of times recently but guess what, I'm still standing.It's not easy, but you have to do it.I think that's what being alive feels like.You know that feeling of falling and being at the bottom and rising up,just like a phoenix.

And so I guess what I'm trying to say,grab every opportunity..take risks..After all, what have you got to lose?

life is sink or swim

the past few weeks have been a true test of my resilience.i lost my job,i bought a house,i was in a car accident,got a new job.all in a span of 2 months..i thought the world was going to end at every downfall.everytime something good happens i try to hold my breath and say a silent prayer.hoping that this time thing will turn out fine.

when life flashes before your very eyes,you think of all the things you need to do or the things you need to say. i could have died that night but it didn't happen.somehow leads me to believe that my purpose in life has not been completed.i know now that it has not been done.

as the bright snow falls to the ground and cold air fills the desolate prairie that i'm in, i start looking for the warmth and comfort of knowing what that purpose is.i still have this long road ahead it seems and it is only the beginning..

at last!

at last..i am free..i don't have money but i have all the time in the world..crisis makes life more interesting i suppose.oh do i love listening to kanye west right now..now i can say i really have a new lease on life..things that brought me down are gone!! gone! gone! gone! as i turn into a different direction, i shall take charge of my life as one of my good friends have been saying all along and do what i REALLY want to do with it..right now, i must borrow kanye's words.."that that don't kill me can only make me stronger.."wrong grammar..hehe..anyway its better when you sing it! i should be free..

i am so sick and tired of being sick and tired

you know i think i am just being a whiny bitch..i really am tired of things that have been going on at this time..i think i am being a push over..i am not a doormat! there just too many personal shit going on and i don't have much sleep..

inasmuch as i would like to say something relevant to me,more to society, i can't.. i am just too freakin tired..i hate whiny people but unfortunately i am turning into one..but for crying loud who wants a freakin mortgage??i don't even want to buy a house!! i guess i'm just tired of being responsible for other people..i've never been irresponsible all my life..that is one thing you can never accuse me of..maybe i should start being one for a change..you know that feeling that you would just care less  if the person next  to you just falls off the face of the earth..just say "i don't care!"  whatever..

oh my i am turning into a bitchzilla.. i guess i just need to vent..that's all..another day,another dime..au revoir!

i hate how much i love you

i hate how much i love you..
i can't stand how much i need you..
but i just can't let you go..
and i hate that i love you so...

-ne-yo and rihanna
and kc

i need to break away

this is the question i often i ask myself recently.it seems that everything i do or think of, is about changing my personal state of affairs.it seems that every decision i would make in the next few weeks are life altering.despite this i feel i am not prepared for such big changes.opportunities have been presenting itself,but i seem to create excuses not to grab them.as if i just let moments pass me by.its been four years now.i need to break away.

i was told by a person that i once admired, that all these experiences that i have are part of character building.then i thought to myself, "from what i know my character has been developed..".i am my own person,my own being.that was thought provoking to say the least.but i know that people shouldn't stop growing..evolving..maybe i'm too lazy,stagnant..is that even possible? i am too lazy,even for my own sake.that's just pathetic..maybe i am pathetic..hopeless..

now that i have reached this conclusion,i should start doing things and stop thinking all the time.i used to be a doer.now its just all plans..THAT'S NOT ME..i need to get out of this rut.i need to break away..AND I WILL..

THE SECRET

I have been reading "the secret" by rhonda byrnes. This book has been widely endorsed by oprah. The premise of this book is really interesting. It said that everything that you think manifests in reality. It actually is a 3 step process..it says ask,believe..you will receive..I think it actually works..I hope so..i will try to think positive from now on..We'll see...

it's you and me and all other people

'cause its you and me and all other people..with nothing to do and nothing to lose..and i don't know why i can't keep my eyes off of you...this is my favorite line from the lifehouse song...it's funny how something makes you feel warm and happy and glowy..i love that song...

its hard to look forward to something knowing that the chances of getting it are very slim to none..i just want to know the end of the story..it's hard to say...

you turn me around,you turn my whole world upside down

well,well,well...another day,another dime..sometimes a phone call will change your life..the other day i have heard of my grandmother's death.she had been in bad shape since the beginning of the year.i have not seen her in 2 years.

even if she was not at the best of health and is on the downhill,somehow i had hoped and prayed that she will still hang on and definitely not that fast. fate has its way of turning your life around,this incident did.quite sometime ago, i thought of being in a state of stagnation..now i really need to get out of the rut and move it!! life is too short to waste..

life is a roller coaster..ups and downs.left and right..and i know this too shall pass..

englishman in new york

two and a half years later, i realized that i am living my life in the past..its hard to exaplain but i feel that i have drifted in a self induced stagnation...i feel i am standing still in the middle of nowhere for all this time,not knowing what to do and where to go..i feel that i have been giving too much value to who i was, still basking in the glory that has long gone..i guess i need to know where i am heading ..one of my co-workers asked me " are you going back to the philippines? i did not want to say home because canada is your home now.." really? that question really made me think of who i am now and what is my purpose in being here, in this place..everytime i remember sting's song i realized i will always be an englishman in new york and the place where i came from will always be home..

hanging on to what i had was not such a bad idea after all..its a great memory ..i just need to let go a little bit in order for some sort of progression to happen in my life..i guess what i need to know is a way to figure out what's next cause until now i do not have a clue..just proves that life is such a journey..just some scattered thoughts from all over..